Removing the Mask: A Healing Journey | Melody Willis
Written By: Khatira Darvesh
In 2019, Melody Willis decided that she would “remove her mask” and speak about her experience with domestic violence as part of her healing process. She wanted to create a safe space for women and men to tell their stories without judgment, something she felt like she didn’t have. Two years later, Melody decided to take it a step further and started her own non-profit to support domestic violence survivors and their families. She designed a two-part program consisting of 6 months each, Surviving Butterflies and Overcoming Butterfly.
The first part consists of the healing process where the participants go to counselling, financial literacy classes etc. The program helps with doctors’ appointments, creating resumes, and finding work. The second part of the program prepares them to live on their own. The program is conducted virtually thus far, but Melody hopes to secure a facility to conduct in person sessions and to host domestic violence survivors and their families while they go through the program.
Q: How did you start your project and why is it important to you?
A: I started the conferences in 2019. I removed my mask for the first time, and I just wanted to create a platform for women and men, a safe space for them to tell their stories and not be judged, because that is something that I didn’t have. So, I decided to take it a step further. I started my non-profit in 2021 and created a program for survivors of domestic violence.
Q: What impact have you seen on yourself since starting this project?
A: It has helped me to forgive not just my ex, but family and friends. I had so much anger and resentment in me because I thought they knew what I was going through. I was not able to fully heal because of the anger and resentment. Every time I speak at a conference, I find an area that hasn’t fully healed and then I go back to that area and heal. Its life changing. Each conference that I am doing is always life changing… it’s not just me speaking. Every story has a message that someone needs to hear and gather enough courage to walk away.”
Q: What are your plans for your project/your journey in the future:
A: To have a facility to host at least 200 people to start – a lot of times when people want to leave, they don’t have anywhere to go. The shelters are crowded. We don’t want to let our family know what we are dealing with. We are scared that we will be judged, etc. I slept in my car if I didn’t have a room for the night… and sometimes I had to leave my kids because I couldn’t take them with me, so I would sleep in the car. Sometimes the doctors would admit me to the hospital so I could rest. I finally got rest in November of 2017, and I was with my abuser for 15 years. I want to have the capacity where I don’t turn anyone away.
Melody also wants to draw attention to domestic violence and force our politicians to take domestic violence seriously as our current system is not designed to protect and support survivors of domestic violence.
So many times, the police were called, and I had to leave. I have a police officer who was abused and didn’t get any kind of support from the police. It is time that the United State takes it seriously because they don’t get involved until someone dies and it shouldn’t take that. If someone feels that their life is threatened it is time to act. It shouldn’t take that long to get a protective order. If we have a better support system from the people who are supposed to be protecting us, more people will feel safe and comfortable.
Melody plans to continue to use her voice for other people who might be scared or ashamed, people who don’t have a space to be vulnerable. She will continue to travel and share her story in the hopes of reaching “even one more person to make a decision to no longer be silent.”
How was your experience with your Let’s Choose Love coach?
I love my LCL coach. It went amazing. We both learned from each other. It has been truly amazing because sometimes you think you need something until you sit with someone and find out that what you thought you needed isn’t what you actually need. So, she gave me a lot of tools that I can use in my healing process and how to deal with different people. I am truly grateful that you all chose her to be my coach.
Q: What else would you like to tell people?
It takes a lot of courage to open up and speak about your experience. You have to be vulnerable to go back to that dark space so you can connect with the people. And that takes a lot of courage to do that. And I applaud anyone who decides to no longer be silent and take their power back and want to see that change. And in order for change to happen it will take everyone to come together.
Melody’s next conference, Removing the Mask, will be held on January 14, 2023, in Houston, Texas. Melody will speak about generational domestic violence that no one else has talked about before, bringing in her experience as well as her mothers, grandmothers, and daughters experiences to shed light on inter-generational trauma and healing of the “child that is broken.”
You can connect with Melody on Instagram and learn more about Overcoming Butterflies on facebook.
Conference Details:
Date: January 14, 2023
Time: 11:00 AM – 3:00 PM
Location: Holiday Inn at 8111 Kirby Drive, Houston, TX.
Speakers: Melody Willis, Alisha Faye Wilson, Shayanna Gilmore, Erica Bailey, Tricia Sins, Dr. Cheryl Ivory, Dalania Stevens (another LCL Grantee), Jo Shaw, and Lorenda Toran.
